Interview by Maria Teresa De Donato

Today I am very pleased to host for the second time my dear Chinese friend and internationally renowned Chinese writer and poet Lan Xin.  Those who haven’t had the chance to meet or get to know her yet may do so by reading our first interview.

As I have previously stated, Lan Xin and I share many interests due to personality traits, experiences in life, professions, and common goals.

Our today’s interview aims to dig into the area of Love by considering its significance, its application, and how we can all share this feeling for each other despite our differences and make our lives and the entire World a much better place.

So, without further ado, I wish you all to enjoy the reading.

MTDD: Hello, Lan Xin, and welcome back to my Blog and Cultural Salon.

LXSM: Dear Maria Teresa De Donato, I’m happy to continue our conversation about souls.

MTDD: Lan Xin,  through our first interview, we learned about your legendary life story and your activities and published books.  During our conversation, it became clear that love, like for all of us, plays a vital role in your life.  We know that you have been committed to creating and spreading the “Wisdom of Love” and have been praised as the “Messenger of Great Love” by readers and media around the world.  Your original “The Wisdom of Lan Xin” has been widely circulated daily, helping hundreds of millions of readers. We applaud you!

When we speak about Love, people usually associate this term with the sentiment that unites two people who are romantically involved.  Through our interview today, however, I wish to go with you beyond that notion… if that’s ok with you, of course…

Can you talk about the wisdom of love?

LXSM: Great!  Love is a common theme of all mankind, covering the beautiful feelings between Man and the Universe, Man and Nature, Man and Man, Man and everything.  I have been committed to the research and creation of the “wisdom of love” field, and I am happy to discuss with you the three-dimensional, four-dimensional, multi-dimensional, and higher-dimensional love.

In fact, love means a lot to me! Because all my awareness comes from love, all my wisdom comes from love, and above all, every “Epiphany” is a moment of a concentrated burst of love!

I first thought about the Wisdom of Love when I had an Epiphany a few years ago that my mission in life was to create and spread the wisdom of love.  Because everything in the world can be summed up in the Wisdom of Love.  The bewilderment of all living beings, some because of ignorance; Some because of ego; Some due to greed, anger, delusion… after all, the lack of love and wisdom, love and wisdom are indispensable to everyone, and they are inseparable from each other, so I connect them to “the wisdom of love.”

For every soul walking in the world, the most lacking is not money, not status, not fame, but – the wisdom of love.  Only the wisdom of love can redeem us, correct ourselves, fulfill ourselves, and fulfill others.  Only by understanding the wisdom of love can we find love, create love, spread love, achieve love, become love, become the best ourselves, and let love be the greatest power. That is why I have made it my life’s mission to create and spread the wisdom of Love.

MTDD: Perfect!  Let’s start with an example: The ancient Greeks, for instance, would use different words to indicate Love, depending on the kind of love they were referring to, be it romantic, unconditional, family-related, friends-related, or else.  In fact, the concept of ‘Love’ may incorporate many aspects and feelings, such as devotion, empathy, solidarity, and many more.

That being mentioned, How would you describe Love?

LXSM: Love is the source of the universe and the way of Heaven and Earth.  Love is the highest emotion; Love is the highest energy; Love is the strongest Dharma; Love is the best healing.  Love is the best salvation of the human heart; Love is the most beautiful desire of all life in the world; Love is the belief in self; Love is the only universal language that can communicate in the Universe; Love is the answer to everything; Love is the master key to open the door of the heart; Love is the ultimate secret to happiness; Love is the only antidote to hate.

MTDD: We both dedicate much time to helping people through various activities and in different areas of life, be it professionally and/or through volunteer work.  Besides academic studies or just life and work experiences, it’s clear that the enthusiasm we have in helping others is based on our common desire to be of assistance in paving the way for them to get to know themselves better, develop a higher level of awareness and consciousness about their full potential and move forward in life to live a more rewarding and fulfilling existence.  Hence, the feeling of unconditional love, solidarity, and empathy towards people must always be present in us. 

This might make someone wonder whether we – that is, all of us as human beings –were born with such qualities or, if not, whether we might cultivate and eventually develop them. 

What is your thought on the matter?

LXSM: Love is the most beautiful desire in everyone’s heart.  Throughout our life, each of us is constantly looking for love, meeting love, meeting happiness, and meeting a better self.  Everyone desires to have great power in themselves, and this supreme power comes from love.

So where does the source of love come from?  It’s you.  In fact, every life is born for love and comes for love.  It’s up to you; you just need to find this kind of yourself. Everyone can become love; it only depends on whether you have the awareness to become love and know the wisdom to become love.

Man has two births of life, one is the birth of the body, and the other is the awakening of the soul.  When you awaken to become love, you begin to become a being of higher dimensional awareness.  Rather than seeking love, fearing love, waiting for love, or caring about love, it is better to become love, create love, and give love!  When you become the source of love, you are no longer afraid of lack of love, of loss of love. Because — all the love will keep coming back to you.  When you become love, you have a constant stream of positive energy to nourish yourself and others.

MTDD: Love, caring for others, especially those in need, and showing them empathy and solidarity are the basic principles of all Religions and Spiritual movements.  Looking at the general situation in the World, it may not be the case.  We see total chaos all over the place.  Nonetheless, miracles are ongoing and occur regularly in our everyday life.  We can see them at any given moment: plenty of people are ready to step in and provide a helping hand when we face dangers or are caught up in life-and-death situations.  People we never met before, whom we know nothing about, appear out of the blue, step in, and are even ready to risk their own lives to save us… as well as many of us are prepared to do the same when the need arises.

These are the moments when we find ourselves thinking, “There is still hope for Mankind.”  That’s when our hearts rejoice, and we realize that we don’t necessarily have to wait for ‘the right time’ to act.  We can take the initiative at any given time to make someone else’s life easier. 

Had all of us such understanding and promptness to act, we would change this World in the blink of an eye, wouldn’t we?  

LXSM: Love is the central doctrine of all religions of the world, but it is the mercy that transcends them all.  The world is beautiful because of love, and mankind is full of hope because of mutual love. When the heart becomes cold and numb, and the soul becomes heavy and dirty, there is always something to save us from the world — sometimes it is a flower, a tree, a lake, a cloud, a kind smile, a warm hand, a loving hug, a generous word of encouragement, an empathetic understanding…

In this world, love has always been there, but love sleeps in everyone’s heart; we need to wake up love; when love is awakened, the soul has woken up.  All things in the universe give love to human beings all the time, but human beings have different perceptions of love and different responses to love.  Therefore, we must first understand the deep meaning of love and then be willing to give love but also know how to appreciate the love received.  There are many ancient Chinese sayings that contain the deep meaning of “love”: “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”

Everyone is eager to find the light that illuminates life and dispel the haze hidden in the corner of the soul; Everyone is eager to find the hope that “tomorrow will be better,” lighting the power of laughing at the present; Everyone is eager to find warmth, to soothe the heart of suffering; Everyone wants to find encouragement and meet a better self…

The heart cannot resist the most, not thousands of horses, but – love.  However, as I said in the previous question, rather than struggling to find love, it is better to become love itself!

Life will eventually tell us a truth: Helps oneself, saving others ultimately saves oneself. Treat others with love, and they will also repay you with love.  Conduct good deeds to others, and you will eventually receive your karmic reward.

MTDD: Over the years, I noticed that so many problems arise due to a lack of knowledge. Not knowing someone or something might lead people to assume things that, most of the time, do not reflect reality.  An example could be our lack of understanding or appreciation for a certain culture we know nothing about or, even worse, the only things we know are those presented by the mainstream media that are very far from being objective.  As a consequence, by passively accepting as reality what we hear… we end up shutting down our thinking ability and our hearts while becoming judgmental and opposing that culture, person, or even an entire population.

I personally have always been fascinated by other cultures and found great interest in trying to know more about them in order to better understand them.  I believe that the differences between cultures and peoples are what make our World absolutely fascinating and enrich our Lives.

Is this also your experience, Lan Xin, and how can we further encourage people to open their hearts and minds also in this area?

LXSM: I feel the same way.  There is an article in my book about this topic: Life is a process of constantly finding yourself, meeting better yourself, and becoming the best yourself. As you say, a lot of problems stem from people “setting limits.”  Setting limits is a boundary, and it is an artificial prison.  They limit themselves, bind themselves, and isolate themselves in this pluralistic world and multidimensional universe.  As you said, the limitation is due to the need for more knowledge, self-awareness, and the outside world, so it is easy to speculate on other people, fields, cultures, and unknowns.  In fact, it is said that “the ignorant are fearless.”

In this era of advanced science and technology, people are accustomed to relying on various media and gradually lose their own thinking and judgment. In fact, what the eyes see and what the ears hear are not necessarily the truth.  Only by using the heart to see, hear, think, and understand can we clear the layers of fog and find the truth.

The universe inspires mankind to explore the mystery of the unknown because of its different dimensions; the world is colorful because of its different cultures that enrich this diverse world, all things become unique because of their differences, and people are interesting because of their differences… In the same way, high-dimensional love is “Seek common and respect differences.”

Just like you, I love both Chinese traditional culture and national culture, and I also like to explore the multi-cultures of the world.  Originally, culture was borderless and belonged to all mankind.  I hope we can learn from each other and contribute to the development of a multicultural world.

So how do people open up?  I think learning, thinking, and understanding is the only way to understand the self and the outside world; the more knowledge of the self and the outside world, the more there will be no limits because we can find more links between the self and the outside world; when you know how to grasp these links, you’ll get what you want.

When you open your heart, and open your consciousness, when your heart has no boundaries, your mind has no boundaries, your love has no boundaries, anything you want to achieve is possible.

MTDD: Another aspect that creates much pain and distress in people’s lives is communication or not being able to properly communicate.  I saw many couples getting divorced – if married – or just splitting – if not – not for lack of love or affection but because they were not able to communicate effectively with each other.  Everybody was so absorbed, or better said, trapped, ‘chained’ in their own thinking that it was impossible for them to carefully listen from their hearts to what the other person was trying to transmit in terms of ‘feelings’ and ‘perceptions.’  Hence, both empathy and being an attentive listener play a fundamental role in communication, and even more so in a relationship of whatever kind.

Would you agree with me?  What do you think the love between lovers should be? How could people communicate effectively?

LXSM: Everyone yearns for dreams to come true, for everything to go smoothly, and for a life full of happiness and fulfillment.  I believe that there must be such a life in this world, but the prerequisite is that we must connect with Heaven and Earth and learn to communicate deeply with nature, all living beings, family, friends, and loved ones.  Love is the universal language of communication between Heaven and Earth.  All things have spirits and can understand the language of love spoken by humans, then how much more so can people?

The communication barriers between lovers and couples, although manifest in various problems, ultimately stem from the fact that they have not expressed themselves in the language of love. “I’m sorry,” “Thank you,” “Gratitude,” and “I love you” are the language of love that everyone, everything between Heaven and Earth, likes hearing. They are the all-powerful keys to open hearts and versatile treasures for deep communication.  Each keyword is imbued with the power of love!  Dear friends, may you realize the wisdom of love in this universal language of love, and may the wisdom always be with you!

Let’s be more specific about love in the emotional world of lovers and couples.  What is love?

Love is empathy.  In Chinese terms, it means “feeling the same and considering others.” Often, without experiencing something personally, we tend to speak lightly about it.  We find it difficult to empathize with others’ worries and sorrows, just as others find it challenging to understand our own pain and suffering.  If we could put ourselves in their shoes, with a heart that feels what they feel, to understand and comfort, then what we give to others will ultimately return to ourselves.

Love is deep trust.  Deep trust is the foundation of establishing profound connections with all things and the basis for hearts to communicate with one another.  Deep trust itself is a powerful force!  When you deeply trust someone, you will establish a profound connection and resonance with them. When you deeply believe that something will have a positive outcome, you will indeed see your wishes come true. When you deeply believe that a wish will be fulfilled, you will truly see it realized!

Love is opening one’s heart and listening attentively.  It is the prerequisite for effective communication to open your heart and share your thoughts with your loved ones, and patiently listen to them.  If couples and lovers can develop this habit, I believe communication will be much more effective.

Love is seeking harmony in difference. When two lives come together, there will inevitably be many differences, but love and mutual understanding are key.   We should respect and accept each other’s different habits, preferences, and ideas.

Love is boundless tolerance.  Human nature’s weaknesses lead to the saying, “The grass is always greener on the other side,” yet in a happy relationship, the couple tends to focus on each other’s strengths and virtues, endlessly tolerating their flaws and shortcomings.  When you view these imperfections with love, they become endearing.

Love is fulfillment.  The ultimate meaning of love is to make each other happy – to bring happiness to loved ones and to ourselves.  If a lover or couple centers all their words and actions around this idea in their relationship, happiness will surround them.

MTDD: We may also want to highlight another aspect that might also contribute to problems.  Many people confuse “talking” with “communicating.”  The difference between the two is clear.  However, it is sufficient to look into the other person’s eyes when we are talking to perfectly understand whether they are “there” with us or not ‘following’ our discourse but rather already thinking about what to say next to prove they are right and we are wrong.  Hence, when this happens, we do not communicate at all.  We are just speaking in front of someone while the message is not going through.

This behavior, however, may also signify a lack of respect for people, let alone empathy and love.

What are some suggestions we can give to our friends who are reading this interview and may find themselves in such a situation, whatever position they might occupy in the conversation?

LXSM: In my book “Meet Happiness, Meet Love”, there is an article, “Open the heart, Let love in”, which says that at present, many people not only wear masks on their faces, but also wear masks in their hearts, and are under heavy shackles, so they are wary of, exclude, and question the people who communicate with us, such communication is ineffective.

The premise of deep and effective communication is to open up to each other.  If we want to open the hearts of others, we must first open our own hearts.  In fact, when we open our hearts, there is good everywhere; when we open to love, there is love for everyone!

In the last question, I talked about what love is, but what does love need?

Love needs ritual; love needs expression – with eyes, with words, with smiles, with hugs, with hands, with bodies, with gifts, with all kinds of actions…

For example, the eyes are not only used to see the world but also to “talk” between people. When we communicate, the eyes are the window of the soul; we can read the response from each other’s eyes, as well as the other side can also read the information in our eyes. There is a tacit understanding between two people as long as we look to understand each other’s thoughts.  Those who have empty eyes, numbness, indifference, and arrogance, have no love in their heart, so there is no love in their eyes either.

Dear friends, when you have love in your eyes, love is the light that brightens you and others!

In fact, my dear friends, try to be the kind of friend you would like to have.  If you want to have a beautiful emotion, please cultivate a beautiful mind. If you want to meet warm people, please become warm people first; if you want to see beautiful things happening in your life, please have a grateful heart; If you want to be forgiven by the world, please be kind to all beings first; If you want to meet your dreams come true, let mercy live in your heart.

After all, there are countless kinds of relationships between people, and relationships without “love” will not last long after all.  In the longest relationship in the world, there must be love – mutual perfection, mutual achievement, and happiness. It is indispensable.  This is because such a relationship contains the heart of altruism, lacks egoism and benefits all sentient beings.

MTDD: Dear Lan Xin, although there are cultural differences in every country, there is a common human confusion: many people cannot find a balance between loving themselves and loving others; that is, they do not know how to love themselves and love others.  

Can you give some valuable advice to readers around the world?

LXSM: Several of my books have explored the theme of “loving yourself” in depth: in “The Wisdom of Love,” loving yourself is the most authentic wisdom.  Only when you know how to love yourself can you love others better, and your love for others is more meaningful.

Who in the world can love themselves more easily than themselves?  Who knows what they want better than themselves?  The love you give yourself can’t be replaced by anyone, and it is also the basis for the love of others.

At the same time, we also have to understand that: loving yourself is not selfish, loving yourself is not self-centered, loving yourself is not indulgent, loving yourself is not stubborn, and loving yourself does not mean only loving yourself.  Loving yourself is based on recognizing yourself, knowing what you want and what is suitable for you, holding the rope of fate with love, letting fate control in your own palm, and letting the kite of fate soar according to the life track you want.

Dear friends, please love yourselves as much as possible in limited conditions, and bloom yourselves as much as possible in limited years.

MTDD: Lan Xin, I have enjoyed brainstorming with you on these important topics. Thank you for accepting my second interview, and thank you for sharing the wisdom of love, which I am sure readers around the world will benefit from!  We look forward to exploring other interesting topics in our third interview.

So, finally, I want to ask you on behalf of readers around the world: How can they contact you and follow you?

LXSM: I am very happy to share the wisdom of love with readers all over the world. Dear Maria Teresa, your work is also creating and spreading the wisdom of love.  You are the messenger of multi-culture and great love in the world!  I believe that what you have done has helped countless readers around the world!  Thank you for all your efforts on their behalf!

Finally, I pray that every reader will discover love, create love, spread love, achieve love, become love, and become the best Self they can be!

Be a messenger of love, and let love be your greatest power!

Readers from all over the world are welcome to contact me via Facebook “Lan Xin” and/or Email: